Are You Too Nice?

Why Teams Crave Accountability and How You Can Use It to Be a Better Leader

In our society, being nice is often seen as a virtue. We're taught to be kind, considerate, and agreeable. But when it comes to leadership, being too "nice" can actually hurt your team.

Are you the kind of leader who always wants everyone to get along? Do you shy away from difficult conversations? Do you avoid giving constructive feedback because you're worried about hurting someone's feelings? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it's time to talk about accountability.

The Perils of Pleasing Everyone

While being nice is an admirable quality, leaders need to strike a balance. Human beings naturally yearn for structure, guidance, and a sense of purpose. Effective leaders use an approach that balances heart and backbone—to provide both compassion and clear direction. With clear guidelines and expectations, employees are more likely to follow through on their commitments. This sense of responsibility fosters a strong work ethic and a willingness to persevere through challenges. 

Importantly, accountability fosters a sense of psychological, physical, and emotional safety. Knowing that everyone is doing their part alleviates stress and anxiety. Holding employees accountable to safety protocols and regulations reduces the risk of accidents and injuries. And ensuring that everyone is accountable for their behaviour reduces the likelihood of bullying, harassment, and other forms of workplace mistreatment.

On the other hand, if leadership fails to offer clear expectations, provide feedback, or engage in difficult conversations, the team can develop an apathetic attitude. Employees may wonder what the point is of working hard when nobody else is being held accountable. Even worse, unchecked toxic behaviours of a few bad apples can destroy morale and make other employees feel unwelcome and unsafe. When this happens, productivity plummets and your best employees head for the exit.

How to Foster Accountability

To be a more effective leader, stop being "nice" and start being brave. Holding others accountable doesn't involve leading with an iron fist or being "mean" to your team, but it does require you to lead with both heart and backbone. Step outside of your comfort zone and follow these tips to boost accountability:

• Set Clear Expectations: Clearly communicate what is expected of your team and each individual member. Avoid vague instructions. As the author and thought leader Brené Brown says, "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." When people don't know what is expected of them, it is nearly impossible to meet expectations. You might think that you're being nice by not getting too specific or strict about expectations, but that can actually cause a lot of anxiety for your team.
• Foster an "Above the Line" Culture: At eLeadership Academy, we use a tool called the Accountability Ladder within our curriculum. At the bottom of the ladder are unproductive attitudes like: making excuses, finger-pointing, and waiting to be told exactly what to do. At the top of the ladder are more accountable attitudes such as: acknowledging reality, owning it, solving it, and doing it. By encouraging your team to embrace the attitudes at the top of the ladder, or "above the line," you instill in them a personal sense of leadership and accountability for every project they tackle. 
• Provide Support: Holding others accountable doesn't mean that you should set expectations and then walk away. You can fulfill your need to be "nice" by offering assistance and encouragement as needed. But avoid the urge to take over, provide all of the answers, or hold someone's hand every step of the way. Be patient with others' learning curves, but also firm in your expectations and belief in their abilities. In this way, you show others that you hold them capable, giving them the boost in confidence they need to succeed. 
• Address Mistakes Promptly: As soon as possible, help employees understand the consequences of their actions and encourage them to transform mistakes into opportunities for growth. Start with an observation; specify what is not meeting expectations. Keep the conversation focused on the problem or behaviour, not the individual. Then share the impact of the unmet expectations and whom it has impacted. Next, outline your requirement or request. Finally, discuss the way forward. This may involve mentoring or coaching, or simply seeking a commitment and confirmation that the employee understands and agrees. 

While these types of difficult conversations can feel uncomfortable, the sooner you initiate them, the easier they are. When a problem is small and/or recent, a conversation about it doesn't come as much of a shock. However, if left unaddressed, bad behaviours or mistakes can snowball over time, building up to a much more difficult conversation. When an employee is surprised to hear that they aren’t meeting expectations during their performance review, that means you haven't done your job articulating along the way that there were gaps between their performance and your expectations. 

Over time, addressing mistakes gets easier. Prioritizing your own physical and mental well-being by getting enough sleep, healthy food, and regular exercise will keep you in the best shape for facing these types of conflicts head on. And asking for help from mentors, coaches, or colleagues can give you the extra support you need along the way.

• Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and reward accomplishments. Accountability is linked to achievement. When people are held accountable for their tasks and goals, they experience a sense of accomplishment upon completion. This positive reinforcement builds confidence and motivates them to strive for excellence moving forward.
• Lead by Example: Humans learn by observing. Model the behaviour you want to see in your team. Be accountable for your own actions and commitments. This lets your team know that you are applying accountability equally across the board. In addition, sharing your own mistakes and learnings with your team can help alleviate their fear of making mistakes—and make it easier to have conversations about when they miss the mark, too.

Improve Your Leadership With Accountability 

While it's important to be respectful and considerate of others, a leader who is overly concerned with being liked can fall into a dangerous trap. Being a good leader doesn't mean being everyone's best friend. It means setting clear expectations, holding people accountable, and providing honest and constructive feedback. That's how you can inspire your team and create a safer, more productive, and more fulfilling workplace for everyone. And when you think about it, that's actually a much nicer way to lead.

About eLeadership Academy™

Exclusive to credit unions, eLeadership Academy™ is the only online training solution that provides accessible, actionable training to develop high-performance CU leaders. We are on a mission to help build leadership and coaching bench strength within the system because we know credit unions are a force for good, and their leaders are the catalyst for member and employee experience. For more information, visit www.eleadershipacademy.com or contact [email protected].