Be Yourself ... Without Feeling Like A Fraud

How to Cope With Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that you don't belong at work, that you are under-qualified and masquerading as someone much more talented and knowledgeable than you really are? You are not alone. 

According to a recent NerdWallet study, a whopping 78% of all business leaders and 90% of female employees suffer from Imposter Syndrome, a debilitating form of self-doubt that can lead to unrealized potential, quitting, health issues, and relationship problems. Imposter Syndrome can affect anyone, although it tends to be more prevalent in women, those from marginalized communities, and those who grew up with adverse childhood experiences. 

If you answer "yes" to any of the following questions, chances are you are dealing with Imposter Syndrome:

• Do you agonize over every little mistake you've made?
• Do you attribute your success to factors outside your qualifications?
• Are you sensitive to criticism, even when it's constructive?
• Do you feel like if others knew the real you, they'd see you as a fraud?
• Are you afraid to ask questions, for fear that others will discover how much you really don't know?
• Do you downplay your strengths or areas of expertise as being less significant?

If Imposter Syndrome is a challenge for you, use these strategies to accept yourself and claim the confidence you deserve.

1. Recognize your anti-self bias. Step back from the things you wish you could do better and appreciate the things you already do well. It can be easy to discount the things that you're good at because they come easy to you. But that doesn't make them less valuable. For example, you might be tough on yourself for not being very good with technology. You may feel like an imposter at work because you perceive everyone else to be better at tech than you. But did you ever consider that you were put into your role because you are good with people and that's what the team needed? Just imagine, there are likely others out there with the mirror image of your insecurity: they feel inadequate about their ability to connect with people, while dismissing their natural proficiencies in tech. 
2.  Go back to your values. Thinking about your beliefs can quiet self-judgment. Focusing on core values like friendship, loyalty, honesty, kindness, and service can remind you of your purpose while serving as beacons that keep you on your path. After all, it's your values that make you who you are—not the outside achievements or gold stars you earn along the way. At eLeadership Academy, we always say: when you know what you stand for, you know what you’ll stand up for. Grounding your self-worth in your values drives confidence and lets you focus on your strengths. Based on the results of a study of over two million people, the book, “Now, Discover Your Strengths,” presents a convincing case for why leaders should pay less attention to perceived weaknesses (both of themselves and others) and concentrate more on developing strengths. When you view yourself through the lens of your values, it's much easier to see your strengths, appreciate yourself for who you are, and stay motivated to keep learning and growing.
3. Be kind to yourself. Instead of berating yourself for things you haven't mastered, embrace the magic of process with the word YET. For example, instead of saying, "I am terrible at X," rephrase your thought to a kinder version such as, "I haven't become an expert at X yet," or "I am getting better at X every day." Embracing the power of YET does more than just make you feel better about where you are ... it helps you cultivate the type of growth mindset necessary to foster innovation and resiliency on your entire team. Aside from being kind to yourself, you can also use YET to boost morale when employees fall short of target metrics or before beginning an ambitious new initiative at your credit union. When others are able to see the hopeful future ahead of them, they are more motivated to live up to it.
4.  Realize that there is no finish line. Life is a series of new challenges and exhilarating moments ... and you will always be reaching for more. Learn to enjoy the growth along the way instead of yearning for a feeling of perfection that (spoiler alert) will never come. Sometimes it can feel like the more you know, the less you know for sure. That is a normal and healthy part of learning and growth, and it can be frustrating. But it definitely beats the opposite: the Dunning-Kruger Effect. The Dunning-Kruger Effect is a cognitive bias that occurs when you don't know what you don't know. It causes people to overestimate their abilities and knowledge, leading to potentially disastrous consequences. So the next time you feel insecure about your knowledge in a particular area, celebrate the fact that your insecurity will likely prevent you from making boldly inappropriate decisions.
5. Name your inner critic. Negative self-talk is so pervasive that it can slip into the back door of your mind—disguised as a fact. But it isn't grounded in reality. Giving your inner critic a name makes it easier to recognize it and call it out for the fiction it is. Dr. Dan Siegel, Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, coined the phrase, "name it to tame it," to explain how we can blunt the impact of strong emotions by naming our feelings. That's because taking time to shift our perspective into naming an emotion engages the analytical part of the brain and gets us out of fight, flight, or freeze mode. Applying this naming trick to your inner critic helps reduce your emotional reaction to it so you can move forward more confidently. Some people refer to their inner critic with a general name such as, "the Judge," while others choose to give their critic a human name such as "Bob the Bully" or "Negative Nancy". Get creative with it and choose a name that reminds you not to take your inner critic so seriously.  
6. Embrace mistakes. Nelson Mandela once said, “I never lose. I either win or learn.” Failure can provide enormous learning potential, ultimately setting you on the path to mastery. Every time you make a mistake, think of it as a learning opportunity. What can you take away from this moment? Is it to be more present? Rely on others for more support? Whatever it is, embrace it as a gift of insight that will help you moving forward. Reframing mistakes from a negative to a positive not only helps you become a more agile and adaptable leader, it is an attitude shift that signals to your team it's okay to step outside of their comfort zone and grow.

Imposter Syndrome can cause a lot of unnecessary stress and self-doubt. But when you realize that insecurity is a normal part of learning and growth, you can rise above it and step into the power of being yourself. 

Best-selling author and speaker Brené Brown once said, "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” So the next time you're feeling like an imposter, pause and appreciate the vast sea of potential that lies ahead of you. Then, take a deep breath, try some of these strategies, and get back on track. 

You've got this.